It has been probably over a year since I last wrote a blog post about anything worthwhile and being up at 3am almost every night for six months gives you lots of time to think about a ton of different things, some that matter and some that don’t. I figured I would try and get some of those ideas down starting with suffering and the vast amount of it going on in Haiti as I type this.

I have gone through my fair share of suffering in the last six months, beginning with my broken neck in July 2009. Looking back on this experience I feel like it has made me a much stronger person mentally and emotionally but it has also given me a new perspective on whats really important in life. Now I know a lot of people who have a near death experience or develop a certain disease seem to all tell the same story about how life seems so much different to them but I guess until you experience it for yourself you can never really relate to them all that well. I once was in the same boat as most people are in thinking that these stories of new perspectives and different outlooks were great and all but they never really had any effect on me personally. Now that I have been through my little ordeal (and I say little because there are far worse things that could happen to me) I see peoples suffering on an entirely different level.

Whether its the news stories about a families house that burnt on Christmas morning, the death of a police officer in the line of duty or the horrific natural disasters that take thousands of lives every year I feel that the suffering that these individuals endure is far greater than any suffering I have ever come close to experiencing in my life. This separateness from the emotional pain of others makes me feel selfish and spoiled for complaining about almost anything these days because I cannot begin to imagine the pain they are feeling. It has caused me to take a giant step back and examine the motivations that cause people to do certain things. Whether its money, fame, status, popularity or acceptance these things all seem very superficial to me now. I find it difficult to enjoy myself when there is so much suffering occurring all around us. I never really allowed it to affect me personally before but more and more I find myself feeling bad for eating or drinking so much when 2/3 of the world population has trouble feeding itself, not working for an extended period of time but still having enough money to support myself, spending time with all my friends and family while others are alone. I was blind to these differences before but more and more I find that my compassion and love for others is out growing the love for myself. That is not to say I do not love myself, I am a very happy individual. It is that I now see the importance in making the effort for somebody else before serving my own needs.

I hope that I can somehow transfer these feelings into action in a meaningful way. A way that serves the greater good rather than the ‘I’, which many people find the most important thing in the world.

I am starting with a small donation to the Red Cross to help the families and individuals in Haiti. You can do the same here.

Summer 2009 Time Lapses from Mike Flores on Vimeo.

So for anyone who was not aware I broke my neck three months ago and have been recovering first in Edmonton and now back home in Glengarry (Ontario). I has been quite the last couple of months to say the least. Not knowing weather I’ll use my arms and legs ever again was the scariest ideas I’ve had to toil with so far in my life. How true it is that the unknown is the scariest thing in life. Being totally immobilized and unable to control my future made me quite nervous but also gave me the courage and will power to get myself out of this sticky situation. I am happy to report that I have been walking for the past two months and my arms and hands are slowly getting back to normal. I am one of the lucky ones who makes a solid recovery after an injury like this and I feel very fortunate.

I am currently living back at my parents place in Ontario as I continue my recovery and make my way back to ‘normal’. I will probably be sticking it out here until the new year (2010 already?) then making my way back to my home in Alberta.